.penny:forumAnd if you think that's the worst pun you've heard, you've clearly never been there.

Yes. With the forum burgeoning like a particularly over-ripe plum, or maybe a dahlia, I thought some sort of site-based acknowledgement was in order. Therefore, this: the page on my site with quite possibly the worst pun in existence as its heading. "Penny Forum" - "Penny for 'em" - do you see? Erk. Erk. Erk.

Anyway, I will attempt to justify such godawful punnery, here. Simply put: I'll be listing the ten or so posts from the forum during the past week that have made me laugh the most. And then, in an act of quite unnecessary charity, I'll be awarding the winner a prize for their efforts. But - and here's where that attempt at justification I mentioned comes in - the prize'll be something I think worthy of a penny. So not a very good prize really, then.

This week's glittering prize: a copy of N'Sync's recent single, "Pop". Ha ha ha. Erk.

Okay: as traditional, the toppest ten posts will be listed in exciting tension-building reverse order:

10:

"Yes as you will see also by my taste in music, i am one big contradiction" Dan

09:

"You didn't have a go at my personality did you now??? " Marc, a "REAL metal fan", asks us to do something very dangerous.

08:

"I haven't posted on this one yet, but was just wondering what happens if the shoes have buckles? or velcro? or they might just be those slip on things. Would the universe unravel in a puff of purple smoke? " Andy. It was "late"

07:

"Congratulations on confirmation that you are a pure homosexual (no offence intended)" Dan, to Andy. Except in forests...

06:

"How about being stuck in a garden shed with a particularly vicious badger, who has managed to wire up a device which delivers electric shocks to your genitals, whilst at the same time playing the greatest hits of Michael Bolton?" Andy on a typical night at home

05:

"It occurs to me that by studying a cross-section of this forums current key demographic, and then analysing the figures against the latest geo-referential hyperbolic ultramind curves we can deduce that the majority of people who participate in this online, internet connected virtual experience, do so whilst sitting on chairs. Interesting." Ian. Yes, /interesting/.

04:

"Ok Andy i really must depart for bed, but it has been a most pleasurable evening, i look forward to similar tomorrow, who knows maybe Matt's curiosity will draw him in to joining us " Dan. Sadly, I declined to join their lovely tryst.

03:

"I can't think of any dogs that like hot chocolate and are arty enough to represent Matt." Ian

02:

"Sure thing, but i feel a bit bad that i have probably met you at some point when with Matt and i don't remember " Dan. Yes, Dan, but /we/ remember...

01:

"Currently I am listening to the Funky Divas album, and I'm quite glad that I didn't put that up there as you might have then got the impression that i am some kind of funky diva (unsurprisingly). I am in fact a grrr man (as i'm sure Matt will confirm)." Andy

 

So the winner is Andy, who will have a copy of N'Sync's delighful "Pop" mailed to him at his chosen address. Actually, I'm sure he might be pleased. Even if he's not, he's gonna get it anyway. As it were. (Ouch. - Ed)

Next adjudication: a week today