.penny:forumHoliday Week Special!

Yes. What with Matt and Ian being on holiday the last week, this week's Penny Forum (catchily christened "Penny Forum: Holiday Week Special, readers) celebrates the best of the stuff that was going on whilst we were away. Now that there's an exciting twelve people registered - leading me to make all sorts of godawful "12 Monkeys" jokes - there's even more randomness to choose from. So, without any further ado, let's get on with it, and find out who's gonna be the next illustrious winner. And a point of order: the number one entry will receive a prize; I just don't have any at the moment. The runners-up would receive lovely rosettes if we had any. Scroll down to read on!

Right then: as usual, the toppest ten posts will be listed in exciting tension-building reverse order:

10:

"Does Alpen's evil know no limits??" Will. No, my evil knows no bounds! Buahahahaha! Erm.

09:

"Admit it, you're blatantly trying to get into the top 10. " Seldo. Ooh look, he just made it.

08:

"How about how many pieces of small cheese can be inserted into Matt's left ear before he spontaneously combusts?"

Andy. It was about fourteen, last count.

07:

"Idling, i am shocked i am spending my time constructively between devoting my comic genius to this forum and preparation for socialising, i am shocked that you consider me to be idling" Dan. Yeh, that's what I tell my parents

06:

"People express unfounded, hopeless optimism before the match, post pointless excuses or blame-mongering afterwards, and organize punch-ups all the rest of the time." Seldo again. This is how arty the forum can get...

05:

"Football is fun but not as much as CRICKET (I like Gloucesetrshire CCC)" Gareth ...and this is how bizarre it can get too.

04:

"Right that's it. Dan, you are officially getting a slap for dissing AK too much." Andy. The debate rages on...

03:

"No Star Wars references at the moment please. I'm still angry with George Lucas. Attack of the Clones indeed... " Will.

02:

"This is really directed at Matt, but i thought that everyone should be aware that the prizes for the weekly competition for the forum's funniest entries may well be fictitious." Andy. Of course they're not. No, really...

01:

"Ahhhh maybe, but it would be strangely satisfying if they (Atomic Kitten, readers - Ed) were in the middle of a routine live on stange and just suddenly spontaneously combusted " Dan

And so the Atomic Kitten furore (gotta love that word, eh readers?) burbles on, with seemingly no end in sight. Perhaps next week's run of special argumentative features, written by some lovely guest artists, will sort it out once and for all. For the time being, Dan is the winner of this week's lovely prize which, as mentioned earlier, doesn't actually exist yet. Don't fret, though, because all the prizes from the last three weeks will be duly despatched to you upon my return to Warwick (and to Ian before I go, natch). And thankyou again for posting such lovely things, and making this job such a cool one to do. I literally laughed when I was sorting out these phrases-o-laughter this week. Goodbyeee.

Next adjudication: next Thursday, mate