The Big Quiz

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We all know the legend. We all know the stuff that's passed into our folk-lore: the stories of drink, emotion and tiredness. Or do we? Well, now's the chance for you to prove it: to find out how much you know about the ragbag of social misfits and drunks that comprises life at the University of Warwick. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the alpen.freewebspace.com Big Quiz! Rules and instructions below. Updated every week!

It's really very simple, a bit like Matt (ha ha - matt). Simply answer each multiple choice question with what you think is the correct answer - they should get trickier as they go on, although it does depend what you were doing and who you knew at the time. Choose carefully. When you choose your answer, a box will pop up telling you whether you're wrong or right. Only click once. You're only cheating yourself. When you've done, move onto the next question: when you're finished them all, count up the number of corrects for a total score!

1. Which of these things did Matt do when he first went to Rainbows' in Coventry?

a. Nothing, just sat like a good boy with interesting conversation

b. Drunkenly forgot everyone's names with embarrassing consequences

c. Drunkenly nicked a plant pot

d. Projectile vomited everywhere, leaving at midnight in a taxi whilst Kim held his head out of the door so that he could be sick in the gutter

2. Which of these people has the middle name Wedderburn?

a. Tony

b. James

c. Will

d. Seldo

3. Apart from Matt and Tony, whose birthday is also January 15th?

a. Kim

b. Matt's mum

c. Danny's dad

d. Uncle Dale

4. Who once had a fight with a Coke machine in the Union?

a. Will

b. Jude the Obscure

c. Danny's dad

d. Tony

5. Who's birthday is it next, on January 31st?

a. Kim

b. Jude the Obscure

c. Why, Simon?

d. Moz

6. In a current music video the singer knocks out her competitors using devious tactics, including a packet of butter. Name the artist.

a. Danny Beusch and the Campettes

b. Sophie Ellis-Bextor

c. Garbage

d. Charlotte Church

7. Who is the oldest by far?

a. Danny Beusch

b. Seldo Voss

c. Kimberley Tate

d. Marc Bunyard

8. If Atomic Kitten are to Andy what S Club 7 are to Matt, then ____________ are to Tony:

a. Madonna

b. Cher

c. The Sex Pistols

d. Destiny's Child

9. Who, in your opinion, is the least camp of these people? Who would not make a good air-steward?

a. Seldo (HINT: it's not this one)

b. Tony (one black T-shirt excepted)

c. Matt (when he's not drunk)

d. Marc (when he sits on his hands)

10. Comedy final question: what's the name of Bill Sykes' dog in Oliver Twist?

a. Bullseye

b. Spot

c. Jamie and the Magic Torch

d. Peru

How did you do? Well, although the potential for cheating is clearly very great - we're not that technically clever, alright - if you've played properly, you should now have a mark out of ten. This is what that score indicates:

0-2 I am no longer talking to you

3-5 I think you should get out more

6/7 Hmm. Okay, but try a bit harder next week

8 Hurrah, well done!

9 Rah! Rah! Rah! - Uncle Dale

10 Congratulations! Though I strongly suspect you cheated...