/art+culture index

RAH! That seems to be a good enough way to start this section, because a lot of the articles found within it are - by our own admission - vey, vey arty. But there again, it's hard to write about things like culture and, er, art without being arty. And since Matt is the ex-editor of a college magazine operating under the title "Jade Monkey" and well-known for wearing incredibly arty clothes, and Ian is thinking of doing a course in Architectural Design (or something) at uni, you've really come to the wrong place if you expected anything else. So there. Sorry.

Most recent addition: Why Music is Possibly The Most Fantastic Thing in Existence

>Matt's Arty Essays Slot #1: Fate Matt Elton

In the first of what will almost certainly remain a one-article series, Matt finally puts your mind at ease over those lofty cosmic issues that have been bothering you of late. No longer must you wander the astral plane with a faint sense of unease: all your answers are here (apart from the mystery of the continuing appeal of Westlife, natch). In the first article we touch on fate, emergence, thought-pattern congruence, and hanging around arty cafes. Well, it had to come in somewhere.

>Religion vs. Science Matt Elton

Round One: in the blue corner, the Almighty. His beard almost covering his sandals (or flip-flops, if the weather is particularly clement), Mr God does not look too bothered about the challenge that faces him. And that challenge is pacing up and down from the Red Corner: the upstart Science, with his tortoise-shell glasses pinched firmly on his bony nose. But who will emerge victorious from this epic battle? Which is More True: Religion or Science? [etc]

>Why Music is Possibly The Most Fantastic Thing in Existence Matt Elton

I love music. It's one of the primary reasons I'm glad to be alive, along with pine needles and unexplained happiness. The power of a random - or not so random - collection of sounds to profoundly change your emotions is something I don't understand, despite knowing what sounds nice and what doesn't. So below is my worldly homage to the Great God Of Music in order that you may share my awe. And add your own, natch. [ya da ya da]

>Life and How to Live It Matt Elton

A page on what I believe in may seem a little self-obsessed, particularly as I'm hardly important and no-one really cares anyway. But I've spent a whole load of time knocking bits about other religions, so if only for self-justification, I thought I ought to put something like this in. And there's the slight chance that someone might read it. And the even slighter chance that someone might find it interesting. And - (that's enough of that -Ed).

>Atomic Kitten: The Final Verdict Andy Burley and Dan Park

It's gripped the music industry for far too long now. It's been dominating the minds and souls of young girls (and gay men) everywhere. No, it's not the debate over whether Bryan from Westlife really is as talentless as All That. Instead, it's the debate over whether Atomic Kitten are any good! No really, it is. God, that was a lot of build-up for nothing in particular. I should write for the NME. [and so on]

Matt Elton is the only person who ever bothers to write anything for this section, because frankly no-one else is very interested and instead choose to leave him to babble away to himself, much in the style of a appalled Victorian gentleman. So if you have a gripe about anything here - be it spelling, grammaration, or simple muttonheadedness - please do not hit Ian or anybody, but instead feel free to beat Matt up, but through the Internet, here. He deserves it, to be honest.

Andy Burley After writing the article on Atomic Kitten above, Andy realised that his student decadence had reached uncontrollable levels and decided to throw it all in for a life in the mean streets. Well, he works out tax, anyway. In between working out tax and working out tax, Andy likes nothing better than building double beds and dancing to Madonna on the sofa. WE IMAGINE.

Dan Park Despite not really liking Atomic Kitten much, Dan is a massive Hanson fan and has all their albums in a box set. He is also going grey.

>Reasons to be Cheerful Matt Elton

Being British, it's all too easy to be gloomy. If something's not gone wrong, there's always the prospect that something soon might to keep things in perspective. And besides, who ever got anywhere from being happy? Erk. Clearly, something must be done about this attitude, and, short of a government review, it'd be a good idea to read this list. It contains the 50 best things that exist to persuade you not to go spiralling to an early grave, or go into a nursing home listening to Terry Wogan. [And so on]